broken fairytale

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skarodegradation:

kanyemotherfuckingwest:

shavingryansprivates:

remember when we were kids and we used to all sing that demented version of the barney song where it was like “i hate you you hate me let’s go out and kill barney”

i don’t remember ever doing this. you were a fucked up kid

i hate you

you hate me

let’s go out an kill barney

with a baseball bat

and a 4x4

NO MORE PURPLE DINOSAUR

(via iwouldliketobutteryourmuffin)



im-bruised:

I hate it when you stop being friends with someone or you break up with someone cause you’ve got all this information about them like at the back of your mind like their birthday or their favorite game or whatever, and even years later things will come up and you’ll think about that person and its like. Oh. and it never really stops

this is so painful

(Source: scottish, via iwouldliketobutteryourmuffin)



majortwink:

in 4th grade we were making clay pots in art and our teacher kept saying “make them thinner! those are too thick they won’t work” so we made them thinner and when she put then in the kiln they all exploded and she told us it was our fault because we made them too thin and if that doesn’t describe the school system i don’t know what does

(via iwouldliketobutteryourmuffin)



youngstero:

the funniest thing in twilight is when bella thinks that the guy she has a crush on might be a vampire so she goes home and just googles the word “vampire” it’s ridiculous but also exactly what I would do in that situation

(via iwouldliketobutteryourmuffin)



brootal-emocore:

bloodyoathmate:

those people who insult you and then act like the victim when you say something about it

image

"WOW OMG I WAS JUST KIDDING JESUS Y CANT U JUST TAKE A JOKE GOD GET OVER IT ITS NOT A BIG DEAL OMFG WOW I DID NOTHING WRONG"

(via iwouldliketobutteryourmuffin)



fstw:

amoyed:

fstw:

amoyed:

fstw:

amoyed:

I wanna fuck so many of you

Nice nice but I wanna eat this turkey bacon BLT

what the fuck is a blt

Do you not have Bacon Lettuce Tomato sandwiches in the UK….

if we did we’d just call it a “bacon lettuce tomato sandwich”

So you guys don’t have abbreviations either? Laugh Out Loud…..

(via iwouldliketobutteryourmuffin)



Spoiler alert: adulthood is 96% of you going “well, I hope this is how it works and I’ll keep doing it till someone yells at me”

(Source: tehhufflepuffcompanion, via iwouldliketobutteryourmuffin)



pregnantfitmom:

casualblessings:

May you have enough money to pay your bills this month with a little extra left over for a bit of fun.

This is one of the nicest things to wish for someone

(via iwouldliketobutteryourmuffin)



motherfuckingdragonsyo:

I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling

(via iwouldliketobutteryourmuffin)